working split (for the hams here)

Have you thought about checking this club out?

https://shywyarc.net/wp/

Thats the club it’s full of non welcoming individuals that make it seem like you are not good enough for them 

Dont know how to explain it, you are welcomed and then when you dont know anything its like you are no longer welcome a

My Elmer was welcoming and a teacher but he is not able to participate any longer

That's a shame. Sometimes folks will think you're not willing to learn on your own and expect them to to provide all the answers for you. I doubt that's your attitude. I've never joined a club but got to know a bunch on my local repeater group. They've all been welcoming.

I was trying hard but seemed to be overthinking things and wanted to get a different perspective along with some help 

One thing that did not help is I know one of the good old boys….he was kicked off the VFd when I was a officer and I was instrumental in getting him kicked off before he even started his probationary year 


he had his own radio of some kind (we issued pagers) and would run to the station ignoring all traffic laws & he had a red light in his vehicle a friend saw him using (no emergency lights of any kind were allowed) He tried being a Sheriff Deputy but faild the psych eval and he was very vocal about hating them for his failure 

Once after he was kicked off we saw him at the mall and he tried getting in my face yelling at me & it did not end well for him with a police report filed to get it on record 

Im willing to bet he was extremely vocal and made me out to be the bad guy 

Elmer only mentioned once something about it & we had a conversation on the matter and I got along with Elmer as he was retired military but in his late 70’s 

have not been back & not sure I want anything to do with the potential drama

Might get back into self study and see how things go. I have a problem and can’t sit still to concentrate while watching YouTube videos, 5-10 min max and that’s pushing it.

That makes sense, your vfd "friend" quite likely is the problem. Best to just stay away. Even if you did get your ticket you probably wouldn't do well on the local repeater because of that.
Your description of the guy paints a pretty good picture of as an off balanced wannabe. I wouldn't want to go anywhere near him myself.
It's a good thing he failed the psyc. That sort of person with a real badge would be a dangerous sob.